What is Parentification?
Most of the time, parents play the role of caring and providing for their child while their child focuses on growth and development. In some cases, these roles may be reversed. The child may find themselves acting as a caregiver in the home. They may take on adult responsibilities, like cleaning up around the house. They may mediate and defuse household arguments, comfort siblings and give advice on adult situations.
This role reversal is referred to as parentification. Parentification occurs when a parental figure inappropriately relies on a child. The parent may confide secrets in their child or rely on their child for emotional support. This is called emotional parentification. These children usually don't get the same emotional support back from their parents or siblings.
The parent may rely on or expect their child to handle and manage empirical duties, like cooking dinner, making grocery lists, paying the bills, or getting a younger sibling ready for school. These tasks may be out of the child's capability and comprehension. This is referred to as instrumental parentification.
Managing and taking on the responsibilities is stressful as an adult, so it isn't surprising that placing these expectations on a child would negatively affect them later on down the road. Parentified children often don't get enough validation about their feelings, ultimately making them feel like their feelings are a threat to their safety. They end up having to deal with their feelings alone, which in most cases leads to self-blame and self-doubt.
Parentified children are prevented and deprived from having a "normal" childhood, because they are forced to grow up too fast. The effects of parentification may also last into adulthood. This could manifest as fear of being independent, fear of abandonment, resentment, difficulties trusting, or avoidance of closeness or intimacy. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed my blog and hope that you learned something helpful while you were here.